Occupied as a desk!

"A cheerleader involved in fraud seeks religious retreat"!

What is this world coming too?

"The English are warned that they must by-pass happiness!"

I'm Glad I don't live there anymore!

"Apparently penguins have never been happy?"

This according to a report from a remote Scottish research institute located in the Outer, Outer Hebridies!

NEXT!

"A strong rumor is circulating in Central Europe that the Universal Army Of Martydom is gathering it's heretical forces to launch major attacks against the Monarchies of the Catholic Church!"

About time!

Their first weapon is...

SURPRISE! NO,...

Back to CNN for the real news,...

Anna Nicole Smith was buried in a big tent today surrounded by lots of circus folk, cell-phone photographers, mud wrestlers, profiteering priests, her ex-mother, numerous ex-members of her private club and a casket of ashes.

Have a good trip!

And don't forget there's a new scratch card game in tomorrow's paper!